A Retrospective: Sofie's Diagnosis Over 4 years ago
Monday, November 5, 2012
A-Day...the day it all changed...and didn't.
This has been the craziest most surreal five days of my life. Thursday Ozzy and I collapsed on the floor sobbing after the specialists left our home. AUTISM?!? What did I do? What did I do? What did I eat when I was pregnant? Where did I go when I was pregnant? How could I let this happen to my baby? I spent the next two days trying to remember how I accidentally ingested or exposed myself to my Bubu's kryptonite. I'm not blaming myself every minute now. I have my moments where my mind goes there but I am working really hard to not stay "there." I'm working really, really hard.
After the first grueling 48 hours, we were lucky enough to have a weekend where Ozzy and I didn't have to work. It was the best weekend we have had, since I don't know when. I think it was the first time we REALLY saw our Bubu for who she is. She isn't this scary question mark. She is an incredibly unique person, and just like the rest of us, I have absolutely no clue what her future will be. That is scary as hell but oddly beautiful too.